COUNSELING SKILLS COUNSELOR’S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION:Use of Space

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Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632

Lesson 12

COUNSELING SKILLS

COUNSELOR'S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

· Counselors also express nonverbal information through eye contact and body movements.

· Clients make assumptions about the therapists' kinesics based on their own experience with how they

express themselves nonverbally; they do not usually attempt to understand the unique expression of the

counselor.

· Counselor's nonverbal communication is strongly related with building therapeutic relationship.

Nonverbal Pitfalls of the Counselor

· Excessive physical closeness at outset of treatment

The client may feel crowded or overwhelmed; misunderstand the behavior as seductiveness by

the counselor

· Excessive physical distance at outset of treatment

The client may feel rejected or at least not accepted; perceiving the counselor as arrogant or

standoffish

· Distancing body movements or facial expression

Examples of distancing facial expressions are bored look, yawning, lack of consistent eye

contact, etc. Similarly, examples of distancing body movements are crossed arms or legs, chair

moved away, etc. The client may feel judged, rejected, or misunderstood; may perceive the

clinician as judgmental or reactive for personal reasons; may feel unimportant, boring, not

being accepted, not liked; may perceive the counselor as emotionally absent

· Absent/ inconsistent eye contact

The client could have following reactions in response to absent eye content of the counselor:

Feeling ignored, feeling not cared for; perceiving the clinician as shy or insecure; feeling not

attended to, feeling perceived as boring; perceiving the clinician as distracted

· Excessive eye contact

The client could have following reactions: Feeling under scrutiny, feeling uncomfortable and

intruded upon; perceiving the counselor as intrusive.

Creating barriers out of objects (e.g., desk, etc.)

The client could have following reactions if the desk between counselor and client is too big:

Feeling rejected, not feeling accepted, feeling unimportant; perceiving the clinician as aloof

Incongruent facial expressions or gestures

The client could have following reactions: Confusion, feeling misunderstood, feeling placated,

feeling lied to; perceiving the clinician as inconsistent or incongruent

· Distracting mannerisms (e.g., twirling hair, playing with an earring, scratching, etc.).

Feeling perceived as boring, not feeling attended to, feeling perceived as uninteresting;

perceiving the clinician as anxious or inattentive

· Excessively loud voice or rapid speech

Feeling bossed around, feeling overwhelmed, being given advice or told what to do; per-

ceiving the clinician as angry or hostile

· Excessively low voice or slowed rate of speech

Feeling insecure about the value of treatment; perceiving the clinician as unsure of self

Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632

Impatient rate of speech, poor timing (e.g., interrupting client)

Feeling perceived as incompetent, feeling perceived as unimportant, not feeling heard;

perceiving the clinician as incompetent or unempathic.

A Touchy Subject--Touching

Touching a client is very problematic in today's society. Touch appropriately is a major concern for

counselors. It is a powerful way to communicate caring and empathy. It can also be easily misunderstood,

misconstrued, and damaging to the counseling relationship.

Touch closes all distance between two individuals. Although this can be a very human and caring reaction,

reaching out and touching a client can also carry negative consequences. Not all clients appreciate touch and

some may misinterpret it. The best rule of thumb for the beginning clinicians is to refrain from the impulse

to touch, especially early on in the work with a given client. If the clinician does not want to refrain from

touch, the next-best solution is to ask the client if touch is acceptable. If a client indicates any hint of

reticence to this request, the clinician would violate the client's personal boundaries through touch, a

disrespectful and perhaps frightening move.

Skill Development Activity 1

· For the next week, listen carefully to the conversation styles of others.

· Attempt to identify their listening pitfalls. Note the consequences of these pitfalls. Do not share your

insights as the point of this exercise is not to criticize others, but to begin to gain awareness of how

pitfalls manifest. It is easier to begin identification of listening pitfalls in the conversations of others

first, then it will be easier to identify them in your own listening.

Skill Development Activity 2

· Begin to observe yourself in conversations with other people.

· Try to evaluate honestly how you listen.

· Pay attention to whether you have any listening pit-fall that get in the way of open and attentive

hearing.

· As you identify your primary pitfalls, make action plans about how to eliminate them after having

observed others' listening pitfalls.

Use of Space

Two most important aspects of space utilization are distance and position. Observing how clients use

personal and environmental space is often a useful way to better understand them. Distance refers to the

amount of personal space a client appears to require. Some clients need significantly more distance from

the therapist than others in order to feel comfortable in a counseling setting. They may go to great lengths

to move their chairs as far away as possible from the counselor. Other clients may feel most comfortable if

the distance between them and their clinician is at an absolute minimum. Counselors need to be aware of

the client's space needs and should therefore try to accommodate these as much as possible. Difficulty can

arise if the personal space needs of the client and clinician conflict significantly.

Gender and Cultural Differences

Although cultural differences exist that may make the need for personal space somewhat predictable, it is

generally best just to observe the personal-space needs of each client and then attempt to honor and respect

those needs. Gender differences may be observed as well.

Timing

· Timing refers to all time parameters of the session, such as starting and ending on time, as well as the

use of time within sessions, such as the timing of important self-disclosures. Timing is an important

nonverbal means of regulation, that is, of helping client and clinician negotiate who speaks when. If a

Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632

client suddenly stops in mid-sentence and pauses, the timing of this pause suggests that a comment

from the clinician about the last expressed thought is expected. If the clinician makes a statement and

then is silent, without breaking that silence, a clear communication is offered that invites the client to

speak.

Timing is an important nonverbal means of regulation. The timing of certain statements by a client

within the context of the therapy hour can give a counselor hints as to whether the client wants to

discuss the issue. For example, an important self-disclosure a few minutes before the end of a session

may communicate ambivalence on the client's part about whether to discuss this topic. However, it may

also be an attempt to extend the therapy hour beyond the established parameters. The clinician's re-

sponse will have important nonverbal-communication value. If the counselor chooses to extend the

session, the nonverbal communication is that the client can manipulate the clinician easily into getting

extra time. If on the other hand, the clinician holds fast to the therapeutic hour, a clear communication

is made that the counselor has good personal boundaries.

Concepts facilitating Good Nonverbal Communication

Three important concepts facilitate good nonverbal communication and thus therapeutic rapport, namely,

congruence, sensitivity, and synchrony.

Congruence

Congruence refers to the clinicians efforts to keep personal verbal and nonverbal expressions in line with each

other. Achieving congruence between what a counselor says and does is critical to good therapeutic rapport.

An example:

1. Conveyance of comfort: Calm, soothing voice; relaxed posture; open facial expression; saying "Please

make yourself comfortable"

2. Expression of empathy: Nodding; smiling; inviting gestures; open body posture; verbal expression: "What

a frightening experience"

3. Matched kinesics and paralinguistics: congruence in all aspects of expression; appropriate accenting: the

counselor may say to the client: "Yes, I do understand".

Sensitivity (understanding the client's nonverbal communications)

Sensitivity refers to a mental-health-care provider's ability to receive and understand the client's nonverbal

communications. Learning how to interpret the kinesics and paralinguistics of each individual client is a

critical component of sensitivity.

Synchrony (matching a client's lowered voice and lowered rate of speech)

Synchrony refers to the clinician's ability to match or oppose the clients nonverbal expressions as

therapeutically indicated. For example, matching a clients lowered voice and lowered rate of speech when

the client talks about a sad event will help the client feel heard and understood.

Mirroring Nonverbal Behavior

· In a successful smoothly flowing interview, movement symmetry often occurs between counselor and

client. Client pauses in the middle of a sentence, the counselor nods, and the client then finishes the

sentence.

· It is represented by a "passing" of movement back and forth between client and counselor. Both

unconsciously assume the same physical posture as if they are following a programmed script.

· Dissynchronous movement can indicate that the interview is on wrong track. The tool should not be

used manipulatively but to increase awareness and insight.

Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632

Staying on the Topic

· To attend, you must also "listen"

· Example:

Client: I went for shopping this afternoon and I really got anxious. I even wanted to run when I saw a

friend. I was sweating and I felt I couldn't move. I have been in my room until just now.

· Nonattending counselor: Did you get admission in bachelors this year?

· Attending counselor: You say you wanted to run when you saw your friend. Can you describe the situation

in more detail?

Helpful Behaviors: Nonverbal

· Tone of voice similar to the helpee

· Maintains good eye contact

· Occasional head nodding

· Facial animation

· Occasional smiling

· Occasional hand gesturing

· Close physical proximity to the helpee

· Moderate rate of speech

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