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Theory
and Practice of Counseling -
PSY632
VU
Lesson
15
LISTENING
& UNDERSTANDING SKILLS
Following
is the list of important listening and
understanding skills:
·
Possess
an Attitude of Respect &
Acceptance
·
Tune
into the Client's Internal
Viewpoint
·
Opening
remarks
·
Open
questions
·
Paraphrasing
·
Reflection of
feeling
·
Summarization
In
the previous lecture, we discussed the
following listening and understanding
skills:
·
Possess
an Attitude of Respect &
Acceptance
·
Tune
into the Client's Internal
Viewpoint
·
Opening
remarks
Asking
Questions: Open Questions
Questions
have large range of purposes
and applications, as described
below:
·
to
initiate interview
·
to facilitate
communication
·
to
motivate self-disclosure
·
used
to elaborate on a topic
·
used
to shift from one topic to
another
·
can
enhance the client's
awareness
·
help
making diagnosis
·
Used
to guide the client.
Before
discussing open questions, let's
talk about different types
of questions and their difference
from
open
questions.
Suggestive
Questions
·
Give
hidden (or not so hidden)
advice disguised as a
question.
·
Tend
to start with stems such as
"Don't you think...?" "Could
you...?" "Have you
ever
(considered)...?
·
Suggestive
openers. Sometime the counselor is
not even aware that he is
giving advice. He must
listen
with
a third ear whether the question is
giving advice.
·
The
counselor may think that the
question just motivates the client. But
these questions may be just
like
putting
answers into clients'
mouths.
Example:
·
Counselor:
Have you ever tried
talking to your father about
your husband's
behavior?
·
Client:
No I haven't. Should I?
64
Theory
and Practice of Counseling -
PSY632
VU
Assumptive
Questions
·
They
give the client the impression that the
counselor expects a particular answer. In
other words they
are
not questions at all; the statements in
fact are disguised as
questions. The client has to
decide
whether
to decide himself or comply with the
assumption.
·
They
start with stems like
"But you have (haven't)...?"
"Do you really...?" "Isn't
it?" or "Do (don't)
you....?"
Example:
·
Counselor:
But you aren't taking drugs
yourself?
·
Client:
Not really..... (looks
away)
Leading
question: She's a
great person, isn't she?
Open-ended
question: What
do you think about her?
Judgmental
Questions
·
Such
questions put the client on the
defensive or create discomfort.
·
One prime
example of a question that will
sound judgmental to almost anyone is the
still-often-used
"why
did you do that?" It could be better
phrased as: "How
did you decide what to do at that
point?"
·
Judgmental
questions are the reason why
questions starting with "why"
have fallen into
disregard
among
counselors.
·
A
generalization has occurred
that all questions starting
with why are judgmental,
while this is not the
case.
Occasional well-planned "why" questions
can be quite appropriate.
·
It is
best to eliminate from a counselor's
vocabulary as most clients
would react defensively. There
are
many
better ways to arrive at the same
point.
Attacking
Questions
·
These
are Similar or closely
related to judgmental questions. However,
the attacking questions are
more
obvious
and hence more easily
avoided.
·
Serve
to shame the client or demonstrates the
counselor's power over the client. This
type of inquiry is
perceived
by the client as demeaning or
embarrassing.
·
Regardless
of the intention of the counselor, attacking
questions serve to shame the
client or
demonstrates
the counselor's power over the client. It
must be eradicated from the
counselor's
repertoire
of questions.
·
Examples:
"Why
are you telling me
that?"
"What
is the point of this story?"
"Aren't
you listening to me?"
"Is
that supposed to make
sense?"
"Can't
you understand this simple
idea?" etc.
Controlling
or Intrusive Questions
·
These
questions ignore the client's agenda
and needs, and focuses
instead on the desires and
wishes of
the
counselor. There are of course
times when counselor appropriately
changes the agenda or
direction
for
the sake of the client (e.g., when the
client is not on a productive course),
but these are for
some
personal
need.
·
This
can happen due to two
reasons:
65
Theory
and Practice of Counseling -
PSY632
VU
The
counselor is not comfortable with the
conversation, e.g., about
authority figures, divorce,
o
men,
women, sex, etc.
The
counselor seeks specific
details and the focus shifts
to a preoccupation of the counselor,
o
e.g.,
asking too many intrusive
questions about client's sex
life.
Pitfalls
of Such Questions
·
The
counselor may be perceived as
controlling the conversation.
·
The
counselor may block clients
from getting in touch with
and listening to themselves and
responding
to
their internal viewpoint rather
than to your external
viewpoint
·
The
counselor may set the stage
for an interrogation
Closed
Questions
·
Closed-ended
questions curtail speaker's options.
Allow the client to answer
with a simple phrase
or
even
to give a yes-no answer.
·
Make
easy for clients to evade
issues and do not encourage
self-disclosure.
Example:
o
Closed-ended
question: Is
your relationship good or
bad?
o
Open-ended
question: How
do you feel about your
relationship?
Pitfalls
of Closed Questions:
·
The
resulting interaction between counselor
and client may not be very
rich. Clients do not have
to
provide
a lot of information and the
ensuing interaction between
counselor and client may
not be very
rich.
·
Counselors
end up doing all of the therapeutic
work for the client, who may
has to sit and answer
yes
or
no. Closed questions require a
lot of verbalization from the counselor,
a practice that is
not
conducive
to collaborative communication.
·
A
practice not conducive to collaborative communication.
However, it does not imply
that counselors
never
use closed-ended questions. It
depends on the goals of your listening.
Closed-ended questions
can
be useful for collecting information.
However, show restraint if you
wish to help others share
their
worlds.
On the other hand, you may
also need sometime to use
open-ended questions sparingly.
Purposeful
Use of Closed
Questions
·
During
a crisis situation
·
When
a client is self-disclosing too
much too quickly
·
When
a client is excessively
anxious
·
When
a client's thoughts are racing or
who is overly talkative.
Shotgunning
·
Overly
relying on closed
questions.
·
Defined
as series of closed questions
that cover nothing in depth
and much in breadth.
·
The
target client is likely to feel
bombarded.
This
kind of interview can go on
like that for hours,
unless the client gets fed
up and leaves.
Open-Ended
Questions
·
Open-ended
questions allow clients to
share their internal
viewpoints without curtailing
their options.
Everything
leading up to this point has
hinted at the importance of open-ended
questions.
66
Theory
and Practice of Counseling -
PSY632
VU
·
Questions
need to be intentional and purposeful.
Questions have a purpose and
should not be asked to
kill
time and break
silence.
·
Appropriate
timing of the questions. It is critical
that counselor leans to
phrase good
open-ended
questions.
·
Questions
shall be perceived as supportive
and therapeutic, not judgmental or
presumptuous. The
client
best not be interrupted, but
it is also not good to wait
too long to ask a question as the
client may
move
to another topic.
Function
·
Used
to bring out major data and
facilitate conversation A good use of
open-ended questions is
when,
in
the initial session, you
wish to assist clients to
tell why they have
come.
·
If
counselors follow few basic
rules of open-ended questions, they
should be quite successful in
soliciting
information and facilitate
self-disclosure.
Description:
The
purpose of using different
words used in asking
open-ended questions is as under:
What
(facts)
How
(process or feelings)
Why
(reasons)
Change
from Closed- to Open-Ended
Questions
Closed
Questions
Open-Ended
Questions
Do
you like your
mother?
How
do you feel about your
mother?
Do
you have a best
friend?
What
can you tell me about your
best friend?
Is
your apartment new?
Tell
me about the place where you
live.
Were
you
hospitalized
after
the
How bad were your
injuries?
accident?
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